Finally, the day has come where I am ready to go public with my big news ... I am dating Manti Te'o's ex-girlfriend! I know it's hard to believe that a relatively unknown guy like myself can find true love with the ex of a Heisman Trophy candidate, but somehow, the stars aligned and we made it work!!!
Let me tell you all about her ... Her name is Lennay and she is one of the most beautiful spirits I have ever met. Well actually, we never met in person, because she lives across the ocean and we actually found each other online. She is smart, funny, caring, warm and pretty much everything I ever wanted in a life partner. I cannot imagine any girl ever touching me the way she has, it was love at first chat.
Wait ... what? What do you mean she died? Today? In September? Wait ... what? What do you mean she doesn't exist? You mean like, ever? I'm so confused ... we were destined for each other ...
If you didn't guess already, I'm making all of this up. Which may very well be what Manti Te'o did as well. If you aren't familiar with the story, Te'o became a national hero of sorts when we found out back in September that both his grandmother and girlfriend died within hours of each other. He was immediately embraced by the Notre Dame community, the college football community, and almost anyone who heard about his story. Well today, the Tide has Rolled (bonus points if you get the reference). As it turns out, Manti's girlfriend doesn't actually exist. Supposedly, this was the brain child of a scam artist who used to go to high school with Te'o. It was all a big joke, and Manti says he knew nothing about it.
For one of the few times since I've started watching sports, I'm absolutely baffled. I really have no idea what to think or which way to turn. My initial gut feeling tells me to believe Te'o and his claim that he had no knowledge of the scam and simply made a mistake with his heart. I want to believe that Manti is every bit as good of a guy as the media has made him out to be over the last few months and that he is the victim in a very cruel situation. But honestly, I just don't know. Everything about this story is so far fetched, so unexpected, that I can't help but feel there are more facts to come. Did Te'o know about the scam and play along to help boost his Heisman candidacy and public image? Or did he really fall in love, online, with a girl he's never met, who doesn't live anywhere close to him? It's not likely, but I'm also a romantic at heart and believe it can happen. If Ariel can grow legs and marry Prince Eric, Manti Te'o can fall in love online. Right?
My guess is we haven't heard the end of this story. It will make media headlines for the next week or two and nobody is really going to know, or believe, the truth about the situation. Then, things will simmer down a bit, we'll move on to the next great sports scandal, and everyone will more or less forget about this crazy situation. Until April that is. Why April? The NFL Draft. As we approach Draft Day, every NFL scout will be digging up as much dirt on Te'o as they can to try and judge his true character. Did he know about the scam? Was he clueless about the scam? Did grammy really die? Did Notre Dame really lose that badly to Alabama? It will all come out someway, somehow. Then, and only then, will we know the truth ...
I am dating Manti Te'o's ex-girlfriend.