Saturday, August 24, 2013

College Football - 2013 Season Preview

Remember that feeling you had when you were in school and it was the last day before summer vacation? Sitting there with all of your friends, watching movies on the crappy classroom television, wondering why in the world you were wasting your time since tests were done and you wanted to go outside and play? Summer was so close you could taste it, yet you still had to agonize through a day that would have been a gift of gold 2 months earlier. Welcome to my world.

Today, my friends, is the last Saturday before the start of football season. And while it's amazing to say that, it is painful to sit here on my couch and long for the game I love oh so much but can't quite have yet. All I have to hang on to is the promise of what's to come ... 6 months of seclusion from the outside world every weekend with television romance as my heart melts with every touchdown, field goal, and bone breaking hit. As Forrest Gump might say: "Football is like a box of chocolates ... a delicious, gooey, sweet, silky, luscious ..." Wait, where was I going with that? Oh well, it wasn't that important anyway. What IS important is that 5 days from today my North Carolina Tar Heels officially kick off the College Football season in Columbia, SC and I cannot wait!!! I have never been so excited to see a group of grown men play with a bunch of 'Cocks ...

And with that, I give you my official predictions for the 2013 College Football campaign:

BCS Conference Champions

ACC - North Carolina Tar Heels
Big 10 - Ohio State Buckeyes
Big 12 - Texas Longhorns
Pac Insert Number Here - Oregon Ducks
SEC - Georgia Bulldogs
Big East - I can't make a prediction here because I have no idea who's even in this conference anymore.

Potential BCS Conference Upsets

ACC - None. It will either be Clemson, North Carolina, or Miami and none can be considered an "upset."
Big 10 - Nebraska Cornhuskers
Big 12 - Can you count Oklahoma as an upset? Don't count on seeing Kansas State at Number 1 again.
Pac Insert Number Here - UCLA Bruins
SEC - Florida Gators
Big East - Everyone

National Championship

Ohio State Buckeyes over Georgia Bulldogs

Other Honors and Dubious Distinctions

Heisman Trophy - Braxton Miller, QB, Ohio State
Heisman Trophy Runner-Up - Jadeveon Clowney, DE/Beast, South Carolina
Heisman Trophy Winner If He Survives Jadeveon Clowney in Week 1 - Bryn Renner, QB, North Carolina
Disappointment of the Year - Johnny "Football" Manziel (*If he plays)
Most Likely to Crash the BCS - Boise State Broncos
Pre-Season Top 25 Most Likely to Finish Outside the Top 25 - Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Pre-Season Unranked Most Likely to Make the BCS - North Carolina Tar Heels
Game of the Year - Red River Shootout - Texas Longhorns vs. Oklahoma Sooners
Worst Game of the Year - Insert Alabama Cupcake Opponent Here
Upset of the Year - Army over Stanford - September 14th
Surprise of the Year - NCAA officials declare that Tim Tebow has not played enough games in the NFL to be considered a professional athlete. Urban Meyer convinces Tebow to enroll in a Masters program at Ohio State where Tebow proceeds to lead Ohio State to the National Championship.
Wishful Thinking of the Year - Florida over Ohio State in the National Championship Game
First Overall Pick in the 2014 NFL Draft - Jadeveon Clowney
Alabama's Record on the Season - 10-3, Winner of the SEC West, Loser of the SEC Championship Game
Vegas "Prop Bet" of the Year - Number of Colors on the Maryland Uniform vs. Number of Starting QB's at Maryland
Over/Under in Alabama/LSU Game - 5.5
Over/Under in Oregon/USC Game - 187
Guarantee of the Year - North Carolina will Defeat Dook - Victory Bell Returns to Chapel Hill
Guarantee of the Year #2 - The student section of at least 10 schools will rush the field after defeating a school that most of the country has never heard of.
Guarantee of the Year #3 - The SEC will NOT win the National Championship. Yep, I said it.
Guarantee of the Year #4 - Nobody will miss the BCS when it's gone. Expect controversy in the final year.
Guarantee of the Year #5 - Sometime in the next 6 months I will scream "I hate football" out of frustration, but it won't be true. I love football.

Hark the Sound ... Go Heels!

- Fishy

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