Sunday, April 7, 2013

Professional Wrestling - Showcase of the Immortals

Before I get into the meat of this post, let me begin by saying that yes, I am aware professional wrestling is not "real." Yes, I am aware that the outcomes are scripted and very few of the performers are actually getting hurt during their show. And yes, I am aware how incredibly obnoxious it is that non-wrestling fans feel the need to continually point this out to those of us that love the entertainment. It's kinda like saying to a female fashionista "how do you walk in those 5 inch heels, it looks really painful?!" The answer is the same to both situations ... we don't care, we do it because we love it. Even though wrestling may not be pure competition, the athletes have real ability and that's why I have no issue discussing "Sports Entertainment" in a sports blog.

Ok, now on to business. The irony of my little rant above ... I'm here to actually complain about professional wrestling. Ok, maybe complain is the wrong word. Perhaps "express my disappointment" is a better way to put it. And why am I disappointed you might ask? I'm frustrated with the complete inability of the WWE (the business' top franchise) to grow and cultivate young talent. Ponder this for a moment ... who were the top sports stars 10-15 years ago? Ken Griffey Jr., Dan Marino, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky. All of these men have had great careers and are now happily retired watching the new breed of sports stars (Mike Trout, RG3, Lebron James, Sidney Crosby). Now let's take a look at professional wrestling ...

Tonight is Wrestlemania 29 (aka The Showcase of the Immortals) from Metlife Stadium in New York. That means ten years ago was Wrestlemania 19. Let's take a quick look at some of the big winners from the event that night ...

WWE Championship - Brock Lesnar (defeating Kurt Angle)
World Championship - Triple H (defeating Booker T)
Handicap Match - The Undertaker (defeating Big Show and A-Train)
One on One Match - The Rock (defeating Stone Cold Steve Austin)
One on One Match - Shawn Michaels (defeating Chris Jericho)

Now let's take a look at the 3 signature matches for tonight's card (the only 3 matches being promoted on various WWE advertising mediums):

WWE Championship - The Rock vs John Cena
Career Match - Triple H (with Shawn Michaels in his corner) vs Brock Lesnar
One on One Match - The Undertaker vs CM Punk

Do we see a pattern here? All of the stars are the same! In the last 10 years, the WWE has only developed 2 young performers to a level that is worthy of marketing promotion (Cena and Punk as mentioned above). As far as those "other guys" that lost their matches 10 years ago ... more than half of them will have a roll in tonight's show and only one has retired (Stone Cold, due to medical issues).

My point is this ... Vince McMahon, I know one night you're going to be home with the lady friend and you're going to be bored. You're going to be flipping through cable channels and Pawn Stars just isn't going to hit the spot. You'll grab your iPhone 78 and accidentally stumble upon my blog. You're going to read this post and here's the message I need you to take: please, for the love of wrestling's future, get some better writers that can actually create good new characters and turn them in to something. And if you don't have any writers on staff that can handle the job, I'm just a phone call away.

If you smell, what The Rock, is cookin ...

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